viernes, 30 de octubre de 2009

¡Hip, hip, arriba Telemadrid!




Les podría contar que Hermann Tertsch estaba este jueves borracho perdido presentando Diario de la noche, pero prefiero detallarles lo que se vio sin lugar a dudas: un presentador desaliñado y sin afeitar, apenas maquillado y nada despejado, despanzurrado por la mesa como escondiendo el cubo de la vomitona entre las piernas, sin respetar cues, ininteligibles para él, ni tampoco las intervenciones de su compañera Ana Samboal, sobriamente asustada, temiendo el salpique, y al borde del ataque de pánico.

Herman, con los ojos arañando el suelo y la sonrisa de payaso desganado, lidiaba a lengua de trapo con cada frase, como si las palabras formaran una gran montaña rusa, de la que él no podía bajarse sin dejar de decir a sus compadres telespectadores un buen: “disfruten”.



Terminó el informativo con esta alentosa y alientosa palabreja, y en plano apareció otra compañera de la hermandad de la uva televisiva: La Tórrida de la Tárrega.

Qué les voy a contar de esta Cristina, amiga tuya sí, mía no, que uno no sabe si abre la boca para que le entre el cachi de Vozca que esconde entre las piernas o para pillar la última bocanada de aire antes de caer espatarrada por su mesa de látex night.




La Tárrega entrevistó ayer a Dragó, otro personaje fijo de esta cadena liberal de barra libre, que lo mismo te defiende la marihuana que te recomienda un saquito de setas alucinógenas. Ayer mismo le regaló en directo un sobrecito a la Tórrida para espabilarla de su profundo letargo.


Para concluir la noche de Gintonics y porretes, en la cadena conservadora hicieron un debate sobre ‘transexualidad, iglesia y Comunidad de Madrid’, muy propio de las mezclas explosivas de la casa Tárrega, y en donde la peor parada, sin comerlo ¿ni beberlo?, fue la mismísima Esperanza Aguirre.



“No sé si me echarán mañana”, llegué a entender que salía de la boca de cachaza de la ‘presenta-edora’.

Lo que es seguro es que si se suceden los despidos en la cadena del wisky Dic, los afectados lo celebrarán por todo lo alto, si les queda hígado, y con un: ¡Hip, hip, arriba Telemadrid!

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